Picture a hot and sweaty middle school gym. I was in the 7th grade and constantly compared myself to others. I felt inferior to others throughout middle school, so I concluded that I was not athletic. For example, others ran an effortless mile, while I struggled to do so. I thought sports weren’t for me. I thought I wasn’t good enough to participate in gym class. I thought there was no need to embarrass myself, and that people would laugh at me. I decided to focus solely on schoolwork, sticking to my academics which I had consistently been good at throughout middle school.

Then, one crisp fall day in my freshman year, I went to one of my younger sister’s soccer games. She is very skilled and provided a beautiful assist to her teammate when they scored. I looked at the team as they huddled and high-fived, smiles beaming on all their faces. This made me realize that I was unhappy not doing sports or being a part of a team. I could either do nothing and continue to feel unfulfilled, or I could step out of my shell and potentially be happier.  I decided on the latter, so I told my mom I wanted to join lacrosse. I assumed that lacrosse would be easier to get into than a sport like football. She was supportive and helped me register for the Lowell High team. We went to a lacrosse specialty store and purchased all the equipment required, which ended up being really expensive. I felt that I had committed. There was no way I could waste my mother’s money by not using the pads, helmet, and cleats that she had so graciously bought for me. There was no turning back now.

The first practice was terrifying for me. I had barely played the sport before and now I had thrust myself into it. It was early spring as I, with large uncomfortable pads strapped to my elbows and chest, was forced to sprint across the turf of Cawley stadium. These initial sprints that first day seemed to kill me when I got home. I was in pain as I walked all the way up the stairs. I immediately went to sleep. The next day, I seriously considered quitting as I felt I wasn’t ready to keep up. However, I persisted because I felt that I couldn’t give up now, as I had committed. I wanted to feel the community of a team and not continue to feel inferior to others.

Through the first two weeks of practice, I improved not only my lacrosse skills, but my teamwork skills as well. Though still nervous, I communicated with my team in practice and we saw success on the field. I got to know my teammates and became good friends with them. I don’t think I would have been able to do these things without pushing myself, as I would have been too reserved and insecure.

Finally, we were on the bus to our first away game after around two weeks of preparation. I found myself reflecting as I stared at the rain drizzling outside the window. I was proud of myself for stepping outside of my comfort zone and was glad that I had joined the team. I came to understand the value of connections and real teamwork, something I would not have done without joining lacrosse. I learned that if I put hard work into it, I would surprise myself with my skills. The value of dedication emanated through my progress within just about two weeks of practice.

Now, many months later, I worry less about others' perceptions of me. Inspired by this experience, I have joined the soccer team and many clubs at LHS. Through these clubs and teams, I find a sense of community and prove to myself that I am not as weak as I might think.

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