It’s Phuket, Thailand, on a beach, circa 2009. I’m with my family, on holiday, with seemingly half the world. I’m three years old and don’t care at all what other people are thinking of me. Mostly because I didn't even realize that there were other people outside of my personal bubble. Sure, I knew that there were other people around, but I didn't know they could think. What toddler knows that? Anyways, there I am on this beach in my purple and teal Roxy bikini bottoms and my snorkel mask. I put on the snorkel mask because obviously no one can see me if I'm wearing it, and march down the beach, leaving my parents in amused curiosity. I walk, and I walk, and I look at all the people. It’s like watching TV but better, and they definitely can't see me. That's what everyone's mentality should be. Find that toddler energy and apply it to your own life. Think about it; little kids don't care about what other people think.

When I was in middle school, I struggled with my insecurities quite a bit. The thing about myself that bothered me the most was my body. All of my friends were thin, tall, and athletic, and I was this stumpy kid who only played soccer because her dad thought she needed to run around more. Also, because all my friends were on the team, I didn’t want to miss out. If you were to go back in time and ask any one of the girls on the soccer team what their favorite pants were, they would definitely have said black leggings. I didn’t have a pair of black leggings, but I badly wanted one. So, one day after school, I asked my mum for a pair, and to my surprise, she had just bought me a pair!

So planned out my new outfit for the next day; black leggings, a pink top, and pink sneakers. I was going to be so cute matching my friend. The problem is leggings are tight; there's no hiding what you look like in them. Something noticeable in leggings is how much your tummy sticks out, but I wasn't thinking about that though. I was thinking about how I was going to match my friends in my leggings. Surely enough, there were 12-year-old boys there to tell me I looked fat in my leggings. At that point in time, I did not know that your stomach was something you could be insecure about. Leave it to filterless middle school boys to give you something to worry about. I constantly worried about whether or not my tummy was sticking out. I would scrutinize myself in the mirror and then put on a massive shirt to hide. From then on out, it was sweatshirts and baggy pants, nothing that showed what my body looked like. I was still insecure about my tummy, though. To distract myself from that, I started to listen to more and more music.

I realize now that music does for me now, what that snorkel mask did for me at three. Anything can be your snorkel mask as long as it melts away your anxiety and insecurity. My headphones have become a staple part of my outfits, and after a while, I stopped caring about what other people thought of my body.

That doesn’t mean I don’t worry about things; I’m human. Whenever I start to get in my head, I put my headphones on, and that conversation I cannot stop thinking about or that awkward interaction I had melts away. In my mind, I'm that three-year-old in Thailand again. I want everyone to put on their snorkel mask. Harness that toddler energy you once had, and rock out. Walk along that beach with your snorkel mask on, and do not let the people around you affect you.

© Evie. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.