When I was younger, I was so reserved and introverted. I wouldn’t talk at all because I didn’t want to say something wrong and get judged for it, especially in class. I didn’t want to look stupid in front of everyone.

A teacher once asked us what we thought of making mistakes. Almost the whole class said that it was okay because you could learn from them. Interestingly, when a question was asked no one would answer out of fear that it would be wrong. It’s easier said than done.

I decided to simply try to fit in however I could. I got people to like me with the fake identity that I created for myself instead of showing them who I really was. I thought I’d have more friends if they decided for me.

You see, back then I couldn’t put up a boundary to save my life because I thought others would think I was mean.

I first noticed this about myself when moving back to Colorado from Texas. I realized a lot of things had changed. My friends were the same but now were in smaller groups and all against each other. We all completely split during our freshman year.

My mom warned me that nothing lasts forever, it’s cheesy. She explained to me that friends are kinda like underwear, you’ll outgrow them or have to get rid of them for some reason. She wasn’t wrong about any of it.

I would say I’m an empath, feeling the emotions of others myself and feeling even worse when I can’t do something to help. I tend to take ownership of others' problems and feel the need to fix them even though they are not mine.

I know I don’t fit into most friend groups, but I’ll find my crowd in the future. A group without drama, one-sided friendships, or filled with people that don’t value oneself, full support without judgment.

Coming to Bridges was great because I reconnected with old friends that I hadn’t talked to in a while. After some time, I completely distanced myself from them too. Mejor sola que mal acompañada. I’d rather be alone than surrounded by people that talked bad about each other behind their backs. What might be said about me?

I enjoyed being alone, not lonely. One day, I realized my alone time was the only peaceful time of my day.

I distanced myself so much from others that now people tend to check up on me, but I'm good. There’s a joy in being by yourself sometimes. For me it’s like a release. I can reflect and think about things on my own. My younger self would hate it, she would think people are necessary to be happy. But, that’s really not the case. Having self-love is something incomparable to being with someone who doesn’t value or love you the way you deserve to be loved. Setting non-negotiables, I now know what I will not tolerate, and I have more self-compassion. I deserve it - everyone does!

I’m still working on setting boundaries but avoiding the conflict that comes with it. It took some time to get where I am because I was so vulnerable back then probably by the way I was raised. I’m an old soul.

Bridges and going to my counselor’s class taught me that, “you should put yourself first because you’re gonna be with yourself all your life, might as well become your own best friend.”

Putting others before yourself is something that shouldn’t even happen. A lot of people tend to do this so they are not viewed as selfish, but you have to be selfish sometimes. Some people don’t care about you enough to put you first, so why wait for them when you can do it yourself.

© Alondra. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.