I used to hate the phrase “People Pleaser.” That term always made me picture a robotic person who told someone whatever they wanted to hear, whether it was true or not. The more I think about those words the more I realize I’m a People Pleaser. The problem I’ve seen with this though is that I can’t always be myself around certain people because I don’t want them to push me away.

I’ve always spent a big part of my life trying to be friends with people. In elementary school I remember having a giant friend group and always feeling like I had to keep my energy up so I could entertain people. When I got to middle school I realized that this wasn’t healthy for me. It got to the point where I would cry if my parents asked me to have people over, it felt exhausting to me just to spend time with some of my best friends. 7th grade is when I really started to change my personality. I don’t know if it was a normal middle school experience or the pandemic but I feel I had a really negative outlook on life. I hated school, I hated having to sit home with no one around, and I started losing interest in some of my favorite activities. Even through all of these thoughts the second I turned on a facetime call with my friends I could act like a totally different person. I would change all of my interests so that those people would like me and bring my energy way up. That was a really rough year for me.

At the end of middle school though I started to find myself again. My grades that had previously dropped were going back up, I started making friends with kids in my class, and found a passion for music and arts. Music has really helped me throughout my whole life. During summer I always go to camp where we spend a week working on a musical, then we perform it in our city’s auditorium. I feel like those are friends I can truly be myself around because we all like the same things and have gone through similar experiences. Despite only knowing those people for a little amount of time, I still find it very easy to talk to them when I need someone. So when I actually had to start 9th grade I was upset about having to close myself off again. I didn’t want people to think I was weird because of things I liked or people I hung out with.

Recently however, I’ve started to realize that I shouldn’t care about making other people happy when it comes to what I surround myself with. As I get older I need to make choices and sacrifices that will directly affect where life will take me. I know that if I fall behind on assignments again I won’t have opportunities for friends or hobbies, which puts a strain on me. On one hand I am receiving pressure from adults and social media to live my life as a teen to the fullest. Though at the same time those are people who tell me my actions and work ethic now are going to reflect on my lifestyle and future career. I’ve started to prioritize classwork over things such as exercise or going out with friends, which a year ago would seem like a horrible decision, but now I see that I need that balance. Assignments can be put off as long as my relationships with friends stay healthy. Friends however should not hold you back from your hobbies or work. In the end, the only person I should be bending over backwards for is myself.

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