I was fifteen and a high school sophomore. Before I stepped into my next class one day, a really close friend pulled out his phone to show me text messages of boys I went to school with talking about me. He passed me the phone and read messages out loud: “she posts her body so much, I thought she would be easy,” “why didn't you bag that you slacked,” “bro I got her next, she’ll definitely let me.” As he read these messages, each made my heart sink. I wanted to throw the phone across the hallway, but I didn’t want it to look like these boys got under my skin, so I just gave his phone back, laughed it off and walked into my class.

But my skin started to heat up sitting at my desk, my heart started to race, a million thoughts were going through my head all at once as I sat on the desk surrounded by my classmates. “What is wrong with them?” I wondered.  “Why would they even say anything like that about me?”

In the following days, I've never felt so uncomfortable having to walk past the boys who had made those comments about me. I walked straight past them when they would say hi, or try to have conversations with me, pretending to act as if nothing happened.

I felt anxious, out of place, awkward, felt myself always in a temper about being talked about in ways that made me feel less about myself. I felt I wanted to hide. I still can’t find all the words to describe how I felt. All week, it felt like people were staring at me and talking about me everyday in the halls as I walked by, going from class to class during school. I knew I couldn't keep letting this get to me. I spoke to a really good friend of mine, who encouraged me and gave me ways to help me so that their words wouldn’t tower over me. A week passed by and I decided to confront them. I took the chance when I saw them as I was walking to my second period. I came off fierce at first because so many emotions were rushing through me all at once. I assumed they would come off vocally aggressive off the bat. But as I explained how I felt, after I calmed down, they managed to understand how I felt. It seemed like they took it calmly, but still deep down I worried that they were just trying to brush me off, yet I didn't want to assume the worst of them. I hope they took it in a way where they actually understood where I was coming from. Honestly, reflecting back about this entire period in my life makes me feel at such a loss of words that I try not to think much about it. I know I will always see them differently. Until this day I avoid them.

For the next two years up until today, I continue to be sexually harassed by boys and men. Guys hit on me and cat-call when I go to the beach with my friends. Random boys I don't know text me on social media constantly, even when not texting back, they would send message, after message, after message. These are the types of guys I never wanted to come across. I am continuously having to speak up for myself and other girls who have and are going through this.

I’m hoping soon that more men realize how unacceptable and wrong it gets for us girls to have to deal with this. I will always speak on this topic loudly for any girls who feel they can't share their stories loud enough. I've learned to be more comfortable within my own body and skin, and to never let anyone feel like they can make me feel otherwise.

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