Throughout my life, from my earliest kindergarten years, I quit most if not all the hobbies I attempted. Whether from boredom or simply not enjoying it anymore I can’t be sure. However I soon noticed this pattern within my life, even if I wasn’t ready to admit it. Some skills, such as doing art with different media, I quite enjoyed, and yet those were never really activities I committed to, I simply developed the passion for them unintentionally through exposure. Multiple other interests sparked throughout my life, including ballet, tennis, gymnastics, soccer, parkour, ice skating, horseback riding, and the most significant one, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu - most of these I eventually quit.

The earliest pursuit of any interest I can recall is when I began ballet while still in kindergarten. As my memory does not go as far back as when I began ballet, gymnastics, soccer, or any other of my earlier out-of-school activities, I’m not entirely sure as to what inspired me to start them. I only possess a few faded memories mixed with other people’s retold accounts of these past events: Apparently I originally joined as a way to spend time with my friends from the upper kindergarten class, rarely paying attention to the session in play. Only vaguely depicted memories remain within my mind, comprised of loving remembrance of my instructor and friends, as well as times when I became uncooperative and overly stubborn. Both sweet and sour moments were experienced. Christmas and other significant holidays sweetened every class by the prospect of candy we knew would be handed out at the end of the session.

Though I was occasionally enthusiastic to learn, my father informs me my participation was often minimal. On the opposing end my mother persistently claims I was a natural ballerina and exceeded ahead of my class. Whether four-year-old me actually had any significant talent when it came to ballet, I cannot tell you; all that I am able to recall is loathing the preparation for dance class, which ultimately resulted in the unsurprising decision to quit.

Although it may appear as an extensive list of hobbies throughout my life, recently I encountered trouble in persuading myself to explore outside of my comfort zone. Without the pressure from our eighth grade project, I am unsure whether or not I would have proceeded with my idea to partake in any sort of martial arts, despite undoubtedly being intrigued by it. Nonetheless, I continuously feel grateful to be included in the welcoming community of the American Top Team training space in Danbury, CT, as well as grateful to all the instructors and participants who helped ensure that I felt comfortable and included in the lesson. Prior to beginning Jiu Jitsu, I struggled with the idea of meeting new people, considering I’ve known my only existing friends since first grade if not earlier. Before class every Wednesday, I would complain to my father about my anxiety that consistently appeared prior to class. He replied, “Anything in your life worth doing will probably make you nervous.” Over time I became more comfortable in that environment, even though it took me a while. Jiu Jitsu inspired me to be more confident in actively trying new things despite my anxiety. Perhaps I will explore new hobbies in the future; whether I stick with them or decide to quit, I will simply be proud of trying.

© Sara. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.