The golden sun cast across the snow-covered peak; the vast mountain stretched out to infinity; the pine trees along the path seemed like a soft white blanket on top of it. It was one of the most stunning and serene days I have ever experienced, yet it was also the day my perspective on life changed forever.

Skiing down the tranquil and picturesque path, I felt like I was entering a magical winter wonderland where worries and concerns do not exist. I had been skiing for years up until that point, and I knew the paths like it was my backyard. I never expected anything to happen to me as I was always cautious and protected myself from possible dangers; however, no matter how prepared one can be, accidents happen. The second I took a turn down the winding mountain trails, I heard screaming behind me. Before I could process what had happened, I was already on the ground with a stranger beside me. It took a solid minute before the excruciating pain hit me. At that moment, I knew my leg was fractured and would be a toilful recovery.

After a visit to the local hospital, I learned that I would have to be in a wheelchair for at least six months and should expect sequelae (complication from the injury) on my right knee. The news was overwhelming; I was in love with dancing and skiing, but to know that I might never be able to do it again left me devastated.

The first month took a toll on me. I never realized how much I relied on my body for the easiest daily task like walking to school; I needed assistance with everything I did. I felt defeated not being able to do the smallest tasks. My mind was only wrapped around all the challenges I encountered 24/7.

That’s when it hit me. I had always taken my health for granted. I had always thought that walking to school or even just around my room was something expected. Well, not until I had my accident. Nonetheless, people like Stephen Hawking and Frida Kahlo did not sit around waiting for miracles. They gave all they could to achieve success, and they did, so why do I get to sit here complaining about a cast around my knee?

During the rest of my recovery process, I became more aware of the little things that happened, even if it was just being able to take small baby steps from my bed to the door. Moreover, I recognized that I should take the initiative and care for myself instead of hoping my body will forever support me wherever and whenever I want.

Though recovery got easier as months went by, there were still times when I could not reach the goal I set for myself. Nevertheless, I regained my mobility through continuous efforts and hard work and could finally walk again. Today, I am back on track with dancing and skiing, with nothing holding is me back.

Many asked me why I don’t get scared skiing again, but I can proudly say that I learned one of the most valuable lessons from the accident. Just like in the song “Rewrite the Stars,” it’s not impossible to change your fate. If your stars don’t align, rewrite them; replace them with your own success, your own story.

Burning Stars

Jocelyn Chiang

I often think that my guardian angel must have been drunk, for they did not do their job properly.  During those days, I had laid in bed every night, hurting inside and out. With tears streaming down my face, I tried to muffle the cries with my pillow. I wondered why I was unlovable.

“Stars always burn out at some point.” My new classmate shared the information with me after our first dance class together. His eyes lit up while talking about his passion for astronomy, and I found it amusing. He was a bit older than me, as I was only fourteen and he was seventeen. But, being in my naive, stupid state of infatuation, I ignored all the bright red flags waving in front of my eyes.

He used to drag me to the bathroom, now the place of my nightmares. I didn’t know how to stop him as he was bigger than I was, and I was scared that if I refused, he would harm me even more. All I could do was stare at him blankly as he put his hands all over my body, telling me that he loved and wanted me.

Hearing all the stories about how the victims of abuse are often turned into the bad guys of the story, being told how they “dressed provocatively” and “sent mixed messages”, I kept quiet. When I woke up after having a bad dream, I decided that I had enough of being a proper, good girl.

I talked to adults, but nothing happened. That’s when I realized that no one was going to help me but myself. I started speaking up against him and attempting to physically resist his advances. Fortunately, I found a chance to leave the situation that held me hostage for more than a year. I broke off contact with him and never appeared in his sight again.

What doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor. It also made me bitter, angry, and resentful. He ruined dating boys for me. I hated all males, refusing to believe that they can be any good to society. I wanted him to pay for what he did, and live in my shoes for a day.

Yes, I spoke up and I faced the repercussions for it. I became the “bad girl.” It would be a lie to say that none of it bothered me. I was hurt to the core, and I fell into a downward spiral.

God must have known that I would be too powerful without mental illnesses, so that’s why he gave me those challenges. I’m working on myself to become better and learning to trust again, to believe that I can find other people to rely on. I now believe that there is someone for everyone, and the person for me is a psychiatrist.

Justice doesn’t have to be served in court, and I don’t need to forgive the people who put me in pain to heal. I found my peace in the thought that I could advocate for other victims of abuse through social media, sharing my experiences with others to raise awareness and help others understand the reality of the different forms of abuse.

Four years later, I’m still waiting for karma to hit him like a dump truck. The last time that I heard about him, he was a rising star, shining bright. But, stars always burn out at some point, right?

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