My life in Iowa was perfect or I like to think it was perfect – so when I had to move to California it broke me.  I was born in California and lived there for about three years. I lived with two of my grandmas at some point but my family kept moving to different apartments. My parents struggled to keep their jobs because they had fallen into addiction so they thought their life in California wasn’t good and wanted to start over.

My mom, my 5-year-old brother, and I took a three-day train ride to our new home. My dad drove in our car separately. My grandma from my dad's side had also moved to Iowa so we stayed with her for a bit. After a couple of months, we started to live with my aunt and two cousins. Unfortunately, my aunt then moved to Mexico, so we had to find a new place to stay. We finally moved into a two-bedroom apartment and lived there for the rest of our time in Iowa.

We moved to Iowa when I was three years old. I had no memories of California. I only knew Iowa. My favorite memories involved becoming friends with the kids around my age in my neighborhood. I enjoyed being able to walk to the park and stay there until it was dark because of how safe it was. I was able to walk to the gas station with friends every time we had money. We would get a blue raspberry slush with chips and proceed to walk to our apartment complex to talk to friends because of how cold it was. I enjoyed riding my bike to the house where both of my friends lived.

My favorite part was having my own room because of how much my brother and I fought. We weren't rich or anything so I felt so privileged. I had my own bed with a million pillows, my own closet, my own smart TV that I would stay up at night watching Roblox videos, and lastly, a dollhouse I played with every day that my dad got me for my birthday. It was my first toy from Toys R Us. However, my parents fell into addiction again so they started having relationship problems. Usually, when my parents fought they made up the next day. I remember this one time they had a pretty big fight at night. I cried in my room, scared because my biggest fear was my parents splitting up. I remember texting my mom that I did not want a new dad. She told me that I wasn't getting a new dad. Everything would be fine. The next day I woke up and went to the living room and my parents were ordering pancakes from IHOP. I never felt so happy that they had made up.

Months later, the worst started to happen. They started fighting again and before I knew it, my mom and dad were getting separated. My biggest fear came to life and I didn't want to lose my dad. I loved my dad, but the fights got worse and I didn't show up to school for a whole month because of how it impacted me. A few weeks later, we had our last dinner together. We ate at a pho restaurant which I hated so I got tacos from a food truck. It wasn't sad. We were eating like a normal family. My dad said that he was going to move to California in June and all we needed to do was wait for him to get back. I was in a bad mood for no reason the morning of the move and I didn't hug my dad which is something I regret the most. I haven't seen him for three years and I really miss him and wish to see him again even though he ruined my life.

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