I am full of love. It is something I demanded as soon as I came into the world. As a baby, I was affectionate and wanted to feel loved. My mom tells the story of the horrendous shrieks coming out of me whenever she tried to put me in my crib. She could tell that I disliked being far from my family.

My early childhood consisted of a lot of family time like pool days, backyard barbecues, ice cream at the park, and most importantly, spending time at grandma's house. I spent most days at my grandma's house constantly surrounded by love. Every day was the same. My brother and I were dropped off with cousins, and then we would all play, eat, and enjoy life. We had endless summers until August of 2012 when my cousin Areli and I started kindergarten together. Even though kinder came around, I still always saw my family after school. Seeing family every day was great and I could not wait to go into first grade with Areli. Little did I know, first grade was not like I thought it would be.

My parents moved me to a new school after kindergarten. I had to say goodbye to my childhood school, which also meant saying goodbye to the comfort of my grandma's house every day. My new school was too far to get picked up by my grandma and I knew I would not be able to spend time at her house as much. The only memories I have of the new were the feeling of loneliness and solitude. Switching schools was challenging. I was accustomed to being around family and friends, and for most of my time at the new school, I spent recess and lunch alone. I had to wait until after school to finally have the comfort of company. Even then, going home was a new change. Looking back now, I realize this is when and how I started to change.

Being taken away from my childhood and brought into seclusion affected how I interacted with others. I started to forget what it was to love which caused me to stop sharing it. Developing an unaffectionate personality not only affected how I showed love but also affected how other people showed love to me. It was not until I was thirteen that I realized the damage I had caused to myself and others. I started to push people away, people like my dad. In my eyes, my dad was always there for me, reminding me of my importance, giving me daily hugs, and most importantly, allowing me to feel heard. Being taken and pushed away from normality was the reason I had changed, I had not known I was doing the same to my dad. My dad had been accustomed to his little girl being a loving child, but that had been taken away from him.

Once I realized it, I started to change into the person I was when first brought into this world. I began to transform into a person with never-ending love like my family had always known. Through it all, I always had my dad, a person I knew I could count on. I wanted to change for him. My dad never failed to make me feel wanted or comforted with his love. I embrace loving and being loved.

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