Running track, I am accustomed to getting bruises on my body and to my ego. These bruises have brought me life lessons that I apply to everyday challenges. One lesson is to always see the end. Sometimes before a race,  people only see a long distance, but I force myself to see the end in order to reach and surpass my goals. One time I didn’t do this was when my family started discussing moving to another country. I could not see where I would end, and I fell hard.

Timing in track is everything and the timing of me learning about moving blindsided me. One day, my mom asked me, “What would you do if we had to move?” I replied, “I don’t know.” “What if we move to Canada?” “Do you want to go to a boarding school?” These serious questions about moving were followed by my own haunting questions. I was especially fearful of moving to Korea, my home country because I knew the students were very hardworking and strong academically. I saw my study habits as no match for theirs and might end up homeless or worse.

After my parents’ discussion, I started creating “what if” scenarios, obsessing about how I would succeed in a new school. Would I be better than the students in English? Would I be better at math? Those and many more questions “popped” forward and tormented me. I concluded, “No, I would not be better at anything.” My one hope was maybe being better in athletics.

Besides, I never wanted to disappoint anyone, and failing meant being on the wrong page of a book. I wasn't going to let that happen despite being in two races: one in Taiwan and one headed for Korea.  I would end up on the right page because I was not going to give up. I am a winner. Giving up is easy, especially for new runners; however, facing it is the greater challenge. Despite my fears of moving, “Never Give Up” kept popping into my mind. Although I knew in time I would be forced to leave the Taiwan race and move back to Korea for a different one I paused to look back at the starting line, so far away, but I soon realized, “I made it this far. If I gave up now, then the time I spent at Taipei American School would be wasted. That time must count for something.”

I got off track. I had been running toward the finish line when my race was disrupted  by the possibility of change. My eyes got foggy, and I started tripping over every obstacle. I was so afraid of change and how moving would affect my entire life. It would essentially change my past, present, and future. My past would become useless, my present would be cloudy, and my future was something that I could not even see, just a screen of pure darkness.

Slowly, I started focusing on how I could transition to this “new” life. I started forcing myself to mentally prepare for the idea that my home wouldn’t be my home, that it was temporary, a place that I would lose soon. I decided that I’d rather get flicked on the forehead than getting punched right on the nose. I forced the idea of moving slowly down my throat, knowing that I would hate to get hit with a realization way too late. I started finally being able to see an end.

This uncertainty of moving has lasted several years causing me to trip and fall. Instead of staying on the ground, I stood up and ran toward this uncontrollable moving finish line. Eventually, the bruises faded as they are supposed to do leaving only memories. So instead of giving up when you fall, reflect on your progress, and let what motivates you to finish lead to unexpected surprises you can’t see.

© So-Jeong. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.