I was always nervous and very iffy about talking to my mom. I never told my mom about my feelings or what happened in my life because I thought she would never understand my side of things.

I was 14 and my mom and I were having a girls’ shopping day. I remember her searching for her size in a pair of brown sandals she really liked. For some reason I decided to start up a conversation that I never thought I’d have with my mom. A conversation about dating.

With my heart racing, I said “I have something to tell you”. She looked at me worriedly and said, “What is it?” I was hesitant to throw it out there, but I spat out “I have a boyfriend.” She was thrown off and immediately said “No you don’t. He’s just your friend who’s a guy.” I had recently met this boy. Tall, sweet, very shy at first, and he was the first boy I’ve ever talked about with my mom. We were two months into our relationship when I decided to tell her.

In my house, dating when you’re a teenager couldn’t be a thing. My mom always told me I was too young to have a boyfriend. When you’re in high school, I feel like relationships start to build and you start to become more of an adult. I wasn’t a kid anymore, yet I was sure my mom wasn’t going to accept me dating. But I wanted to tell her because many of my friends had good relationships with their own mothers and I felt like I didn’t have this. In order to build our relationship and be more comfortable with each other, I needed to be more truthful.

I live with my mom, brother, sister, and grandparents. My grandparents and mom were always strict. I was never allowed to hangout or have a sleepover at friends’ houses. My mom is about 5 ft, has long brownish hair, and has raised three of us as a single mom. She is a really sweet person and provides me with so much, by working hard everyday. She is this special person who comforts me and gives me advice whenever I need it about most things. But I always felt I had to keep certain things to myself. I never thought I would tell her about relationships.

But when I told my mom, that day in the shoe section of Marshalls, she completely shut me out. “I really like these shoes and I’m getting them,” she said as she changed the conversation. This is what I expected her reaction to be. But I still felt completely shutdown. I felt that she didn’t care about my first relationship.

A few months went by, my 15th birthday was around the corner. “Is it okay if my boyfriend comes to my birthday party?” I asked. I had not talked about him since the shoe incident. But I decided to bring him up again because I wanted him to be there for my birthday and I hoped maybe my mom would react differently. “Of course he can! It’s your birthday,” she replied confidently.

I didn’t expect this response, but it felt so good to hear this from her. I felt that she was starting to understand me more, that I was becoming a young adult and things like relationships are going to come up.

Today, my mom is the person I trust most with everything. Now, I feel like I can talk to her easily about anything. I can confidently say that my mom is the reason I am who I am today.

© Lailani. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.