I have a twin. We don’t look alike but we would constantly be compared to each other. Our looks, performance in school, and hobbies were all points of comparison. Throughout elementary school, we shared the same classes. It was tough. I was once told that my sister would be rich and successful while I would end up poor with a cheap little boat right beside her. Even though it was elementary, those words stuck with me. I was made to believe that I couldn’t be as smart as her. I wouldn’t be successful. Our bodies were also under constant scrutiny. People would compare our weight. They would point out that one of us was thinner which made me uncomfortable. We were children and shouldn’t have been worrying about those things.

Middle school came around and it was the same. We had all our classes together. While we wouldn’t really get compared as much as we did in elementary, it was irritating having to be with my twin 24/7. I love her but I need a break from her sometimes. It’s okay to be separated once in a while. I felt as if I couldn’t have my own things. We had the same group of friends and the same classes. Our teachers expected us to have the same grades. She had always been the one with good grades while I, on the other hand, struggled to keep my grades up. I was constantly asked “why aren’t you passing? '' and my grades were compared to the ones on my sister’s report card. I wish they wouldn’t have thought that just because she had good grades I should’ve had good grades. We both worked at different paces.

Having the same group of friends as my twin was fun but I felt like I couldn’t have my own friends or act like myself. I was afraid that she would think of me as “immature”. I decided to go to a different academy for high school than her. Now, I don’t get compared to my twin sister and I feel like my own person. I honestly enjoy it. While I do like spending time with my twin, it is okay to spend time without her. I now have my own group of friends. I can now go throughout the day without being compared to her or being asked why my grades aren’t as good as hers. Now that my twin and I don’t go to the same school, I don’t have her to stop me from acting like myself. I am now more sociable. I now make my own choices without feeling judged, without having the feeling that I am just behind her shadow. I am now working on creating my own identity.

© Melanie. All rights reserved. If you are interested in quoting this story, contact the national team and we can put you in touch with the author’s teacher.