Honestly, I wonder if I could even function without medicine. I mean I would be so energetic that I would still be bouncing off the walls while I sleep. And it was pretty obvious in kindergarten. I came into school like I took 3 shots of high fructose corn syrup. While it was tedious for me to focus, I mostly got what I needed to do. The problem was that I just could not calm down one bit if I was riled up in any way in the slightest. Thank goodness for my kindergarten teacher Mrs. Berry. She noticed that I just couldn’t calm down. Eventually, she took this into her own hands, as I couldn’t even contemplate what I was doing. She contacted my parents, and I was taken to the doctor for a check-up. I was later diagnosed with ADHD, and I was prescribed medicine, and even with the help of that medicine I couldn’t tell you what the medicine is called. Thankfully I remember them specifically for this essay, fish oil, magnesium, guanfacine, and methylphenidate. However, the hardships of ADHD may have been challenging, the feeling of coming over it compel now more than ever.

There was a definite change in my behavior and way of thinking, even I could tell. I wasn’t vibrating in my seat, the only vibration that was happening was my snoring. I was so tired. There is no other way that I could explain that. I felt like I was just about to pass out every second that I had my eyes open. I had the sleeping habit of Snorlax from Pokémon. Sadly that’s just something that I had to get used to, because not only does the medicine calm you down by making you more tired, but having ADHD alone just makes you tired. If you didn’t know, if you have ADHD your body is working almost twice as hard. Thus you’ll be using twice as much energy, the problem is you produce like 5 times the amount of the normal energy production. So you’re basically both tired and energized at the same time.

I always feel as if I have the ability to focus, but the ability just doesn't come to me. But I have learned how to deal with it. Normal people would probably just set reminders or alarms, but I don’t do that whatsoever. I may have the memory of a goldfish, and the only sentence that I remember how to say is: “Yo no recuerdo” which literally means “I don’t remember” in spanish, but I find that trying to remember mentally actually helps me remember more often. I’m practically training my brain how to remember, and I find that it’s worked and I’ve been able to remember more and more stuff. However, it can be detrimental to forget, like an assignment. And thank god for teachers reminding you everyday about your essay, because if it wasn’t for that I wouldn't be writing as of now.

All in all, ADHD is not fun at all, and even today I still struggle with speaking without stuttering and social anxiety. I basically cannot speak or present in front of the class at all, I actually feel like I’m about to die in real life. But I am trying to surpass that, I have a 504 plan to help me when needed, and sometimes I think that ADHD isn’t so bad. I can remember specific things at specific times really well. I am allowed to “slow down time” or watch something unfold slowly so I have time to react. I basically have my own spider sense. And even with all of the bad things that come with ADHD, I still wouldn’t change it at all.

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